Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
