Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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