Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
