I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
