return my video game
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
