when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
