Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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