We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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