it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
