So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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