i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
