it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
