Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
