R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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