no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
