I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize