Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
