Tell her she can't have a vagina
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
