I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
