Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize