Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
