You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
