Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
A+ Viking dick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
