Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
