We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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