just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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