If i come over, it means nothing
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
