When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
