In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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