The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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