Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
