home. puking in laundry basket.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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