i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
