alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
