He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
