Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
