maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
