i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize