turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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