plz talk dirty to me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize