the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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