Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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