Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i think i just lost a toe
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
