i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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