I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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