Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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