at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
