ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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