When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
