would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
