Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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