i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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