My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
