We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize