There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hippo gnu deer
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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