NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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