Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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