if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
