Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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