i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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