capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
