Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
