i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
