were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
