So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
