I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Did I show you my penis last night?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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