His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
